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| A revolutionary idea hit my in the face today. Something that had been freaking me out, right in front of my face, but I couldn’t and didn’t want to see it. I have been reading this amazing book called the Next Generation Leader by Andy Stanley for the leaders at chruch. I recommend it to all, especially those that are in anyway involved in church leadership.
I was reading my book when all the sudden Mr. Stanley’s words weren’t just on the page anymore, they were words that I have needed to hear for over six months now.
I have been scared. Scared to lead. Wow. That’s something people around me probably wouldn’t understand nor see. I have been sort of stagnant lately. Letting myself believe that I was “waiting” on the right opportunity to jump back on the wagon. But the question isn’t how to get back on as much as, how and when did I fall off? And why?
Holy cow, I just figured out a huge thing here. I kept telling myself I need a break, I need some time to think, breathe, etc. But if fact, that’s exactly where I steered myself wrong. If God has called me, you, whoever to be a leader and we aren’t filling that call, I believe than that things aren’t lining up.
Mr. Stanley put it lovely, “The leader who refuses to move until the fear is gone will never move.” And also, something to motivate, “ Eventually a leader’s lust for progress will overwhelm him reluctance to take risks.” He talks about how the average man or woman fears stepping out into a new opportunity, where as for a leader the fear is missing a new opportunity.
That was my problem, I was stuck with fear. Well fear not anymore, because I am back letting God lead me.
Don’t worry friends, I’ll update again soon, I just wanted to share that with you all for now. Hope everyone is doing well.
Miss you.
<3 Me.
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| Life or something like it has been rough for many lately, to each in their own way.
It seems almost as if the winter brings not only chilly weather, but a time to question who’s in control and where we rely our trust.
Don’t sweat the small stuff has been a term I haven’t even been able to comprehend as of late. It seems as if I have dug a whole, not on purpose, but one that I can not get out of….ever.
Life and everything in it is changing so much around me, I don’t deal well with change.
God heal me.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light more than our darkness that scares us. We ask ourselves "Who am I to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, fabulous and amazing?" But honestly, who are you not to be? For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to manifest the glory of God that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.
(~Erin)
I am seeking inspiration and have been looking in the wrong place.
Be inspired.
You know where to look.
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Psalm 46:10
“Be Still and know that I am God.”
Psalm 23:!
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
Isaiah 41:10
“Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”
1 Chron 28:9b
“For the Lord sees every heart and understands and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him, you will find him. But if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.”
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| Something to think about:
Life is not about the number of breaths you take,
but the moments that take your breath away.
I love it.
In other news, homework rules my life, that and a fabulous meal not consisting of cafeteria food.
The food is from a fabulous restaurant called 94 West in Orland Park. The divine food entails: mahimahi, creamy garlic whipped potatoes, steamed garlic spinach, broccoli and cauliflower cheesy goodness, and steak. No, I did not order all of that, rather I get to eat all of the left overs. :D I'm simply too excited for words.
Family weekend was on campus and a strange, yet great time.
It consisted of Mom and Dad coming down Friday afternoon and following me around to my top two favorite classes. Than, meeting some of friends, going out to dinner, and lastly a movie. I recommend this movie, which I never would have expected: Dan In Real Life. Now some of you are going to hate me, I am not a fan of Steve Caroll, until now.
It was great, I mean really really great, go check it out, and let me know what you thought.
Saturday, slept in for a bit, than went shopping for props with the fam for the upcoming play. After that search was over, Ryan met us and we all went shopping in Orland Park, came back to campus for an improv dinner theatre. We went for pie and called it an evening.
Which brings me back to today. :D
Homework! URGH it never ends....ever. | | |
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When you get lost, on a journey, you have to reach a certain point and actually acknowledge to yourself that you are lost. You have to make a conscience decision to either keep going with the hopes of finding an alternate route to your destination or turn back and start again on a different road. No one else can make the decision except for the driver. No matter which choice you make, to stay on the path, or leave, you know something has to change.
Which way? While you think and process, a deer runs ahead of you causing you to panic sending you in a spin. Your car stops dead center in the middle of the road. You realize you have to choose your journey sooner than you thought. Leaving you with choosing your next course of motion immediately. To turn to either way will be the same distance, but there is one difference. As your mind races as cars swerve around you, you sit, motionless, out of breath, out of courage.
You know that one will be more painful than the other, but no pain no gain right? But that doesn’t mean the other way won’t actually, in the long run, be better.
You continue to stay still, letting the racing cars around you become a blur, your mind starts to spin, gasping for air, and you know its time to make a choice.
What do you do?
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| I do have to apologize for ignoring my Xanga friends for far too long. As most of you know I am a college girl now. I’m working the independence and self-sufficient life style. I just completed my first set of midterms. Old Testament and Its Fulfillment was the worst. Speech and Human Communications, both were fine. Liberal Arts Math haven’t gotten the results back yet, and Civil History was just dandy. My professors are fabulous and I love them…almost all of them.
Bonding with people and growing in Christ has been a great experience too. I have loved getting to know my RA Leanne and my other girls I have met. I really feel like I am growing into my own skin and becoming my own person.
Tonight at Bible Study, instead of discussing our book Emotional Purity, we talked about Luke 10 with Mary and Martha. God is so good. He makes Himself clear when He knows I’m ready to listen, and tonight it hit me like a brick as I was drinking my berry smoothie. I have been wondering why with circumstances, my usual busy little self hasn’t really shall we say…kicked into gear here at Trinity. It’s been the hardest adjustment, so far. I’m used to being involved in everything and anything, never thinking twice without wondering if I had accidentally missed a meeting for something. For those of you back home, you would be slightly surprised to know, I am only involved in two extra curricular activities. If this isn’t odd for you, by golly, it is the oddest thing to me. Up until today, I couldn’t put my finger on it completely. Sure, I had classes to worry about so I was a little nervous to sign up for too many things, but went ahead at our involvement fair signing up for anything that interested me. After the involvement fair the week after school started things started happening, between having a sinus infection and other important things, I some how managed, to not be able to have time for anything except two things to get heavily involved like I love to do so much. After all this had occurred I was very puzzled as to how this had happened right under my nose. Now I am stuck with all this extra free time, and not thrilled with myself for letting this happen. The question was how did it happen?
This is when it hit me tonight: I need to be still. I don’t even know where to start. God has chosen my freshman year at college to be the year when He starts to teach me to be still in Him. SERIOUSLY? Not going to lie, at first I was not thrilled with this idea. I thought to myself, this is when I need to get involved the most, this is when I need to get my contacts going, make friends, become the adult I want to be. Notice the theme? It was all about ME, I had completely lost my focus on the One who deserves it the most. So what does God do, hit me in the face (not literally of course) with a brick. And, of course, He’s right, as always. Non of that matters, non of it will remain in the end. I need to be less like Martha and more like Mary. There is a time for doing, and a time for being still. When I’m going and doing it needs to be to glorify God. Time for me to back it up and start over.
God is giving me my fresh start, so here I go.
love,
E
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